Forced Choices

Here's another simple trick that works with my son & the preschool students I work with at school: when you want your child to do something but they are refusing to do it, give them a choice between 2 different options. You choose the options... so both of them will be acceptable to you. I use this a lot when my son is refusing to transition to a new activity, such as from bathtime (which he loves), to bedtime (which he, um, doesn't love quite so much). I say something like, "It's time to get out of the bathtub. You can get out by yourself or I can help you." And then follow through is the key, of course - so I actually do help him out of the bathtub if he chooses not to on his own. This is a simple example, but you can always get more creative in your offering of options. Independence and control are so important to toddlers and preschoolers - giving them a choice instead of commanding or forcing them to do something can be an easy way to avoid a control battle or tantrum and can improve your relationship with them.