Encouraging Healthy Eating

Tips for getting your kids to try new things, and have a healthy diet:**

• Set a good example--let your child see you try new things and making healthy food choices
• Eat the same foods your child eats--avoid the temptation to be a "short order cook" and prepare different foods for your child
• Make a table rule--No negative talking at the table (about the food, other people, etc.)--Negative talk (including yelling and arguing) may turn off a child's tummy and he will refuse to eat
• Praise your child when he does something good such as coming to the table without a fuss, trying a new food, or helping to cook or clean off the table
• Offer healthy snacks (vegetables, cheese or peanut butter) to make up for meal times that he/she doesn't get the nutrients they need (but only offer snacks 2 hours after the meal...let them learn they'll have to wait if they don't eat the meal)
• Don't worry if your child doesn't eat a meal or snack--your child may like to see you become upset. Pretend to be calm, even if you are not.
• Expect your child to stay at the table during meal times. Your child needs the family time, even if he is not eating.
• Don't bribe with dessert--offering a sweet food will make the main dish seem like a punishment, and dessert will become the most important part of the meal
• When offering new foods, offer familiar foods along with the new foods
• Offer new foods often--for you and your child
• Ask your child to taste the new food, and make it fun, but don't force them to eat it
• Allow your child to spit out the food he doesn't like
• Try to avoid labeling foods as "food he likes" and "foods he doesn't like"--this will make it easier for your child to change his mind about liking different foods
• Don't give up! A child may need to try a new food 10 times before he actually accepts it.

**These ideas were shared with me by a friend who is a nutritionist.

Book Review: Why Gender Matters

I just finished reading Why Gender Matters and wanted to do a little review of it here.

I really liked this book because the author, Dr. Sax, showed good research about the biological differences between boys and girls (not the socialogical differences). He showed research done on the brain, eyes, ears, etc.

A few things I learned:

• girls have better hearing then boys...the implications for this are huge--put a boy at the back of a classroom (where boys often sit) and they won't be able to hear, and thus will act distracted and become disruptive and then they might even get labled with ADHD...
  


• boys and girls have different eye shapes, which means they see things in a different way. boys are drawn to movement and girls are drawn to faces...one example that makes a lot of sense in my experience are boys will draw pictures using only one or two colors of action (a rocket ship taking off, etc.) and girls will use lots of colors--pinks, yellows, greens, etc. and draw pictures of people
  


• boys and girls use different parts of their brains for language and other activities (as simply put as I can).
  


• boys are typically more willing to take risks and girls more tentative about risk-taking...I couldn't believe how many studies he presented that showed the same thing

Some suggestions that Dr. Sax gave that I want to remember:

Overall:

1. affirm your child's gender...it is a natural part of who they are. if they aren't comfortable with their gender and aren't sure of this central part of who they are, they aren't going to find a comfort level anywhere


2. don't discourage them from choosing gender typical activities, nor should you discourage them from participating in gender atypical activities if they choose


3. be aware of your child and their friends and activities...one of the best ways to do this is to have family dinners


4. you need to discipline your child...some things should just not be negotiable...and girls and boys need different dicipline styles. boys need more authoritative (strict), and girls need more "warm and fuzzy" or induction ("how would you feel if...")


5. gender specific cross generational activities should be provided for both boys and girls (especially boys)...Dr. Sax talked a lot about this in teaching boys and girls how to be successful and respectful individuals. Boys especially need to have time with men to learn how to be men (this is missing in most schools now because teachers are largly female)


6. know your child--know his or her strengths and weaknesses, and try to sense what he/she can become--don't push them in a direction that worked for you or another child, but help them see who they are and the goodness in them


7. on risk taking: for girls, encourage them to take risks...build them up, help them accomplish hard things, but don't let them quit if they've been hurt or failed; for boys, "affirm the knight"--aggression is natural and good for boys. you can't force a boy not to be aggressive, so find a way to allow this in a positive way (football, karate, soccer, etc.). when you take away boys opportunities to be aggressive it sometimes builds up and causes bigger problems


8. if your daughter is being bullied (and for girls bullying takes the form of gossip, ruining a reputation, isolating her from friends, and is typically done by close friends), take her seriously, and do what you need to to remove her from the friends doing the bullying..this could be having her participate in some different extra-curricular activity or can be as extreme as transferring her schools


9. Talk to your child about sex: know that boys (especially teenagers) have sex for a kick, and girls typically have sex to be intimate and to feel loved...both end up being hurt. it destroys each of their abilities to form and maintain healthy relationships. "practicing" romantic relationships in high school is practicing at the wrong thing because typically physical looks and popularity drive what forms the relationships. beware that the trend now is for teenagers to just hang out in large groups and not ever "pair" off, and kids have oral sex not taking it seriously

Bribes or Rewards....

A few months back (November to be exact) there was an article in the Washington Post about people receiving bonuses at work for losing weight. The article went on about a lot of different incentives people are given for healthy behaviors--one doctors office even paid their patients money to lose money--and then went on to talk about this maybe being a bit unethical. Some people say that it is wrong to pay people to exercise or eat right (or whatever), and that it is simply "bribery."

In my opinion, we all need a little incentive to do the right thing sometimes--especially when we're trying to break a bad habit. If we're paying people to do unhealthy things that is a different story. We all get paid to work at our jobs (ok, so us stay at home moms don't get a physical paycheck we can spend)...and no one ever complains that it is unethical to pay people to get them to work. Who would go to work if we didn't get paid? Even if you totally love your job? Hey...I wouldn't even mind getting paid to exercise and eat right...that's always my intention, sometimes I just need a little kick in the pants, and a positive kick in the pants wouldn't be so bad.

So...to get to kids. I'm in the opinion that positive rewards, incentives, or even bribes if you want to call it that are a good thing--used in thoughtful, moderate ways that is. You may want to think about what the desired behavior is and offer an incentive that mathes up with that (for example, you wouldn't want to offer candy to get a kid to brush his teeth and put on pjs, but maybe an extra bedtime story would be appropriate).

Nightmares and Night Terrors

My three year old has been having nightmares for quite some time. I think she's had a few night terrors as well. The other night she had night terrors throughout the night that were terrifying to ME. She was screaming (to the point she was choking), kicking, and shaking the likes of which I haven't seen for 15-20 minutes a go. I was ready to call 911 at one point. In the light of the day after it was over, I realized (thanks to a little extra info from healthychildren.org) that she was having night terrors. I'm grateful my husband held me off from calling 911.:) I feel like I was more concerned because she has had a febrile seizure another terrifying event for parents, but somewhat common and not anything to worry about (in and of itself). I know that both of these things are not harmful to kids, but in the moment...it's hard not to be overly concerned. Why didn't anyone tell me that terrifying moments filled with worry are a normal part of parenthood?

Getting ideas from others

I LOVE not having to "re-invent" the wheel...so I love it when I find a good site for information that I really like. I've been frequenting a fun blog lately that has a lot of fun learning activities for preschoolers. It has games, coloring pages, hands on learning activities, holiday activities, and literacy connections. I highly recommend checking it out. Do you have any learning/teaching blogs that you check out?

Words and Language

Lately I've been amazed at how quickly my girls are gaining language skills. My one year old is understanding language in ways that surprize me everyday, and my three year old is communicating really complex thoughts. I'm really in awe about children's ability to learn, and especially their ability to learn language. Tonight I listened to a radiocast on words and langniguage. Words give us meaning and change the way we experience this world. One interesting fact about kids is that around the age of 6 certain language processing skills are developed. Hum...maybe this is why age 6 is the age that most kids are really developing literacy skills. In the March 11, 2011 Science magazine, there was an article about how children gain language and that they make generalizations correctly when exposed to limited data when statistical computer models say those generalizations shouldn't be made. The human mind is incredible. The article pointed out that we do this as adults as well, but that children are doing it constantly.

"I Think I Can, I Think I Can!"

Self-Efficacy is the ability to define a goal, perservere, and see oneself as capable.

The building blocks of self-efficacy:
1) Opportunities for mastery
2) Allow opportunities to observe others succeeding at the task
3) Direct persuasion by others (giving specific feedback about strengths that will help accomplish the task).
4) Positive emotions

Here are some ways we can develop self-efficacy:
*Challenge negative thoughts and replace with a postive truthful idea
*Teach goal setting
*Notice, analyze and celebrate successes
*Use process praise (notice the efforts and specific steps a child has taken to accomplish something)
*Provide opportunities for mastery experiences
*Be honest and realistic (we aren't going to succeed at everything--talk about it when there is a failure, talk about what he/she could have done differently, and what strengths he/she can use to do better in the future)
**Slow down and really notice what your child is doing
**Be specific--specific praise (i.e. you dribble the ball really well) and not just general statements like "good job."
** Name strengths

--Information taken from NASP Communique, Nov. 2010, "Self-Efficacy: Helping Children Believe they Can Succeed."