Encouraging Healthy Eating

Tips for getting your kids to try new things, and have a healthy diet:**

• Set a good example--let your child see you try new things and making healthy food choices
• Eat the same foods your child eats--avoid the temptation to be a "short order cook" and prepare different foods for your child
• Make a table rule--No negative talking at the table (about the food, other people, etc.)--Negative talk (including yelling and arguing) may turn off a child's tummy and he will refuse to eat
• Praise your child when he does something good such as coming to the table without a fuss, trying a new food, or helping to cook or clean off the table
• Offer healthy snacks (vegetables, cheese or peanut butter) to make up for meal times that he/she doesn't get the nutrients they need (but only offer snacks 2 hours after the meal...let them learn they'll have to wait if they don't eat the meal)
• Don't worry if your child doesn't eat a meal or snack--your child may like to see you become upset. Pretend to be calm, even if you are not.
• Expect your child to stay at the table during meal times. Your child needs the family time, even if he is not eating.
• Don't bribe with dessert--offering a sweet food will make the main dish seem like a punishment, and dessert will become the most important part of the meal
• When offering new foods, offer familiar foods along with the new foods
• Offer new foods often--for you and your child
• Ask your child to taste the new food, and make it fun, but don't force them to eat it
• Allow your child to spit out the food he doesn't like
• Try to avoid labeling foods as "food he likes" and "foods he doesn't like"--this will make it easier for your child to change his mind about liking different foods
• Don't give up! A child may need to try a new food 10 times before he actually accepts it.

**These ideas were shared with me by a friend who is a nutritionist.

FLIP IT

FLIPT IT is a strategy designed to help us deal with and "transform" challenging behaviors in young kids (up to 8 yrs old). It was introduced to me by the staff at Head Start. I think it is amazing and works wonders with little preschool guys and gals. It really helps them learn replacement behaviors rather than just get rid of behaviors we don't want to see. I think the Devereux Early Childhood Initiative owns the rights to this strategy and even conducts trainings on how to use it, so of course I want to give them credit for it. Click here if you would like more information.

And here is a basic breakdown of the FLIP IT strategy with an example of how to use it.

Feelings
Limits
Inquiries
Prompts

Here is an example of how to use FLIP IT: Say that two preschool children are playing together. One child, Johnny, is excited to play with a truck. Ben decides he wants the same truck and grabs it before Johnny has a chance and begins playing with it. Johnny pushes Ben and steals the truck away from him. An adult could intervene using FLIP IT by first identifying Johnny's FEELING: "Looks like you felt disappointed when Ben took the truck you wanted to play with." Then, the adult could state the LIMITS for Johnny. "But we don't hurt others." Then, the adult could make INQUIRIES into what other options Johnny has for dealing with his disappointment: "What else could you do instead of hurting Ben?" and then PROMPT Johnny with an option: "I'll bet if you asked Ben if you could have a turn after he's done, he would share that truck with you."

Teaching the difficult to teach

This post is not really directed towards your own children, but rather if you are in a position where you have the opportunity to work with difficult children. (So for all you teachers out there...)

Again, this thought comes from the book, Becoming Attached.

"...it may be hard for the insecurely attached youngster to find such an alternate attachment figure because the strategies that he has adopted for getting along in the world tend to alienate him from the very people who might otherwise be able to help. The behavior of the insecurely attached child...often tries the patience of peers and adults alike. it elicts reactions that repeatedly reconfirm the child's distorted view of the world..."

"But if adults are sensitive to the anxious child's concerns, they can break through."

I love this last little part. I think this is the key for anyone, including working with your own child...being sensitive to the child's needs. A warm and responsive parent is the most important thing that a child needs!

Why we do what we do...

In my two previous posts I talked about behaviors having a "function" or a purpose.

• Communication
• To get something (like a toy, food, etc.)
• To avoid something (my toddler throws tantrums to avoid getting in her carseat; a second grader may act out in class because he wants to avoid doing math)
• Attention (good or bad--attention is attention)
• Sensory input (my toddler cries and gets held--I think she likes to cuddle!)

Of course, things become habit, but it always goes back to the reason the behavior was started in the first place.

Problem Behaviors--Part 2

The next part of the process of trying to solve problem behaviors is to create a behavior plan.

If we go with the premise that each behavior has some function, then the most effective way to change a behavior is to replace it with some other behavior. For some behaviors this means teaching the child a new skill, for others it may be just reinforcing a different behavior. The possibilities here are endless.

To figure out what we need to do, we complete the "ABC" part as described in Part 1, and use the information we have sorted out to drive what we will do to implement a "behavior plan."

For our sample question (see previous post), here are three steps I might try:

1) Planned ignoring--this is useful if the purpose of the behavior is to get attention (don't give the child any attention after they have stuck the object up their nose--the new consequence will now be that they have an uncomfortable object up their nose)--this by the way is one of the most effective things for tantrums--the key is not giving attention to the kid if they increase their behavior
2) Replace the child's behavior (sticking random objects up his nose) with another behavior. If we think the function is because he/she just thinks it is interesting or because they like the feeling of the things up his nose, we might try finding a toy where the child can stick small objects in holes, or something to replace that sensory need. If we think the function is to get attention, think about the "A" or antecedent--what is happening before hand??? Is there a way we can give him/her attention in some other way. Think about ways that would really work for your kid to get your attention and still be acceptable to you.
3) Reinforce the new behavior...some replacement behaviors simply are reinforcement enough, but if you are having the child do a new behavior to get your attention, you want to make sure you are giving them your attention when they do the new behavior.

If you have a hard time coming up with what you may think the function of your child's behavior is, and thus having a hard time coming up with replacement behaviors, it's okay. This isn't a natural process, but it can be very useful and very successful if you are consistent in your approach.

If you do try to implement something consistently and it doesn't work, go through the ABC's and come up with another strategy.

--Kelli and I have had more classes and workshops on this topic than we can count. If you want help with a specific problem behavior let us know and we'll try to walk you through different things you can try...we may just ask for a lot of information on the specific thing that you are struggling with!

Problem Behaviors--Part 1

My friend Wendi asked the following question:

My two year old likes to randomly put small things up his nose so far that you can't see them. How can I stop this behavior positively and effectively? Telling him not to stick things up his nose hasn't really worked very well.

I have a really long winded answer to this (at least something you can try) that should apply to almost all undesirable behaviors.

There is a method called a "functional behavior assessment" and "behavior plan" which I used all the time in the schools. While I have never done this on a two year old, I have implemented it with kids with Autism and Down Syndrome (as well as many other kids), so I think the same principles will apply to all kids.

The basis of it is that all behaviors have some function or purpose (to get attention, for sensory input, avoid something, etc.).

When you are trying to stop a behavior that is annoying, dangerous, disruptive, etc., you need to first look at the behavior in a broader picture. The ABC method:

A--Antecedent (or what is happening before the behavior occurs)
B--Behavior (exactly what is the child doing)
C--Consequences (what happens after the behavior occurs)

I will use our original question as an example:
(Keep in mind I don't know all the details so I will put various possibilities)

A-- 1) kid is bored, everyone else in the house is occupied, mom is doing a million things and hasn't been able to give kid individual attention; 2) find small objects, find them interesting, trying to figure out how things work

B--kid puts small object into his nose

C--1) mom gets mad (kid gets attention--even if it is negative this is something the kid gets out of it--negative attention is still attention); 2) it feels good (this would be a sensory thing); 3) kid gets satisfaction out of putting something in a hole

I will post tomorrow about the behavior plan...what to do once you've kind of narrowed down the "ABC's" of the behavior.